January 3, 2021

NBA Public Service Announcement

Not Buying Anything Public Service Announcement Regarding The 5 Second Rule.

Please let it be known that as of January 1, 2021 the 5 Second Rule (also known as the 10 Second Rule), has been updated to reflect our new economic reality.

Henceforth it will officially be known as the 20 Second Rule. If you are brave enough, have an extra strong stomach, or are REALLY hungry, it can reasonably extended to 30 seconds, or more.

This change will allow more dropped food to be eaten, making more calories available to the hungry masses. 

This green practice (it may cause you to turn green) will cut down on food waste at at time when food is more precious than ever.

It does seem that our immune systems could use some toughening up, and eating a bit of floor bacteria might do the trick. 

Call it the George Carlin Method

"What do you think you have an immune system for? It's for killing germs! But it needs practice. It needs germs to practice on."

So enjoy that dropped food, and develop your own iron gut and immune system. 

Caution. Your dog will be envious, and will probably not appreciate the competition.

"Does your dog bite?" 


*Reaches for food on floor.*


"That's not my dog."

Note: Science does not support the 5 Second Rule, or 10 Second, or 20 or 30. As a matter of fact, research shows that dropped food can become contaminated in less than 1 second after hitting the floor.

But we have all eaten dropped food (haven't we?), and I don't know about you, but I have never become sick from doing so. That I know of.

Tough times have redefined the kitchen practice of asking ones self after flopping some food on the floor, 

"To eat, or not to eat?"

"5 seconds? 10? 20?...", and

"Will Fido get there first?"

These are some of the pressing questions we will be pondering during the Pandemic of 2020/2021/2022.

Stay safe out there, everyone.


  1. I always said my family could survive on the dropped french fries under our car seats if we were ever stuck.

  2. I cannot usually find the occasional green bean I drop until I step on it.

  3. Totally with you on this one. I eat absolutely anything and am also a firm believer in the 'sniff test'. If it smells ok then it's fine by me. The only food waste in this house is rotten veggies that might have been missed. I am working to improve on this.

  4. So funny and so true, especially about the dog getting there first. I'm with Cherie about the sniff test. I think if it smells good and looks good then I can eat it.

  5. I love it. Comments funnier than the post. Excellent, and ha, ha, ha!


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