Surreal Times Call For Surreal Art - Mark Bryan

"Homeland"

Life is increasingly surreal, and a Daliesque strangeness pervades everything. I don't really mind, and kind of like it that way, although I prefer a more benign situation rather than the predominantly evil one in which we find ourselves today. 

It makes sense, then, that I enjoy surrealist art. 

Art that is surrealist, and that also reflects and comments on the strange and twisted realities that we live with, is even better. That describes the punch in the brain art of Mark Bryan. 

"Ship Of State"

This is the preamble from a 2016 interview with the artist:

"Alongside his political works, Mark also creates imagery which stems from significantly more unconscious origins, and which draw just as heavily, on the melange of 1950’s and ’60’s low budget sci-fi, psychedelic comics and surrealist works he was influenced by throughout his youth.

 

Regardless of which of these two distinct camps his work falls into, there are some things which are absolutely certain; Bryan’s work is unquestionably his own, it is crafted with the utmost sincerity and unequivocally wrapped in an indubitable honesty."

"Pie In The Sky"

Unsurprisingly, Bryan's early influences were artists like Salvador Dali, Max Ernst, and R. Crumb. Early events that influenced his thinking were the Cuban Missile Crisis, Vietnam War, Civil Rights Movement, assassinations of Kennedy and MLK, and "the whole hippie/psychedelic/eastern religion phenomenon". 

He says of the times he grew up in, "We truly believed the world could and should be changed. It was a strange mix of optimism and horror. Those events have stayed with me all these years and continually surface in my paintings."

"The Republic of Amnesia"

"Political art is propaganda and opinion", says Bryan. "We all push for what we believe in and against what we fear. When the circus turns especially ugly, I feel the need and responsibility to make some kind of comment. Sometimes, it’s just too easy. Many political characters are already walking cartoons and almost paint themselves. So how can one resist?"  

That's funny... and true. 

"Trump-O-Matic"

It is a strange and twisted world, a surrealist circus, and that makes for some very interesting art. In this regard, Bryan's is among the most intriguing I have seen.

See more of Mark's art here: artofmarkbryan.com

Dentist With A View Eases The Pain

The view from our dentist's chair is better than watching the screen on the ceiling running non-stop news.

How can you make visiting the dentist more agreeable? How about discount dental care for those of us not on employer benefits? Joking - that's never going to happen.

Next to that, having a dentist in a scenic location makes things a bit better. 

Our last dentist, on the west coast, had his practice in a small character home overlooking Sooke harbour. The view from his main chair was so good that pain drugs weren't necessary. Joking again, although the view did make any discomfort easier to handle.

Our new east coast dentist, as it happens, is also in a nice location, and again on a harbour. Also, the last 4 digits of the new dentist's phone number are identical to our previous dental office. When we got here 4 years ago, and were getting set up, we took it as a sign. 

Now when we sit in the chair we can look at dry docked fishing boats out one window, or out into the town harbour, where you can sometimes see tall ships docked at the government wharf. 

Ahh, calm, blue ocean. Great stress reducer.

I'd rather have discount dental care, but a nice view to take my mind off the pain of the work being done, and the further pain experienced while paying, will have to do.

Have a good weekend.

En-laughter-ment

Warning: consumerism will not lead to enlightenment.

I am having a bit of a Zen moment lately here on NBA. My last post on Zen Kitties elicited this response from Sophie:

"I wish I had read this wonderful post BEFORE I cleaned the cats' litter box! This gave me a much-needed laugh today."

Reading Sophie's comment led me to think more about Zen and laughter.

Often Linda gives me cause to spontaneously erupt in a belly laugh. She is a very witty person with a wicked sense of humour, one reason I love her so. She is my laughter guru.

In these moments it feels like a window on the Infinite has been thrown open. A brief moment of enlightenment, ala Sosan, the third Chinese patriarch of Zen. He would "awaken" his students with unexpected loud noises, but it seems to me that anything jarring that surprises you could put one in a receptive state.

For me, that is stealth humour where I am caught unaware, and am laughing joyously before I even know I am laughing. In that space I am grounded, centred and present.

In that moment I am one with Linda, with humour, with my environment, and with a very delightful (and often funny) Universe. Even if only for a brief moment, it feels wonderful with all barriers and separations dissolved.

I hope this blog can keep Sophie, and all NBA readers, laughing from time to time with zingers that come out of nowhere.

Clang! There it is - en-laughter-ment.

Other things that I have found that lead me to moments of clarity include the practices of: love, compassion, humility, forgiveness, making music, helping others, and living simply. I wish to share those here as well.

And all the while laughter, as we progress together. Ha, ha, ha. Ho, ho, ho. Hee, hee, hee. You can not possibly have too much laughter.

My Empire Of Rocky Soil Under Attack

Our first ever garlic is looking good.

This is it - my summer domain, my playpen, my 8X16 Empire of Rocky Soil. And, as it turns out, my giant litter box.

In the spring, while seeds of peas and beans and acorn squash and such were germinating, what I mostly harvested from my vast track of land, was kale from a second year plant (they are biannual), and cat poop.

Acorn squash flowers are big and bold.

Every morning I went out to collect some kale for a green smoothie (not a brown smoothie), I would also find a smelly gift from a neighbourhood feline. Maybe it was a bobcat, which are common in Nova Scotia, but rarely seen. Either way, poop is poop, and it does not belong where I am growing things to ingest.

While cat droppings contain nitrogen, phosphate and potash, which are all primary ingredients of organic fertilizers, they also contain organisms such as the toxoplasmosis protozoa, and that can make you sick. They are little toxic bombs, and they have to go.

Pole beans are climbing the tripod I made out of sticks from the forest.

I had to defend my borders. I crisscrossed sticks between the seedlings. I kept the soil wet. After reading that cats don't like strong smells where they do their business, I spread bits of orange peel. I didn't want to go to the nuclear option of sitting out all night with a spray bottle of ice cold water. Or giant cymbals.

It won't be long before fresh peas are on the menu.

The deposits dropped in number, but still continued, as did my ritual of cutting kale, then searching for land mines. What did work, in the end, was having the garden fill in. The cat (or cats) have been crowded out, and moved on to a better box somewhere else.

Beans are just flowering now.

Now I wait for the next interlopers, perhaps some hungry caterpillars, or cucumber beetles, or powdery mildew. While the cats have given me a chance to pause for a while, and let my defences down, I must stay alert in order to (organically) guard the food growing in my little rocky domain.

Crimes Against Hairdressing

Wanted, Shorn or Shaggy.

If bad hair was a crime I would be in trouble with the law. A selfie haircut combined with bed head, and you better call the HD-CSI unit. I would be charged with crimes against hairdressing and sent to appear before a four star stylist.

My life of stylistic hair crime began when I quit paying for haircuts about 20 years ago. At that time Linda, my partner in crime, took up the responsibility for keeping my hair somewhat acceptable. We combed the Internet together to learn what we could about home haircutting.

Over the years MS changes meant that Linda could no longer manipulate the hair cutter and scissors. Oh, no - now it was up to me to make the cuts, with Linda acting as project coordinator.

One year ago Linda was in the hospital and I cut my hair alone for the first time. It turned out pretty good. Since then I haven't cut my hair again in the same way. Instead of sitting down to a total cut I have been randomly snipping at my hair when I noticed chunks getting out of control.

It has felt good to see problem hair and hack it back in a fit of rebelliousness. And I do believe it is an act of rebellion, whether you are five or fifty, because for some reason hair on the head is sacred.

I know lots of people that live simply, but none that have gone as far as cutting their own hair. Why? Because we quickly learn in life that head hair is hallowed, and only professionals shall alter it according to the latest fashions.

I figure the fashion police infringe on my freedom, so snip, snip, snip. If someone has a problem with that they can call in the hairdressing crime scene investigation unit. Of course they would discover that things are all manner of wrong, and I would be convicted of my crimes.

The punishment would be a full day spa treatment for rest, rehabilitation and better, more acceptable hair. However pleasant that might be, I am likely to be a recidivist in this department. Where are those scissors?

More Love

To this I would add:

• more peace
• more forgiveness
• more kindness
• more understanding
• more compassion
• more sharing
• more humility
• more freedom
• more cooperation

And considering the state of the world these days, I would add more peace again. Lots more peace. Maybe if we had more love we would have more peace... and all the rest of the things mentioned above.

So, MORE LOVE - it's free so let's spread that stuff around liberally. Give it away, give it away, give it away, now.

A Consumer By Any Other Name

Since the 1970s we are increasingly called Consumers rather than Citizens,
and it makes a big difference in how we feel and act.

What’s in a name? That which we call a Consumer by any other name would spend just as much.

I know not how to tell thee who I am.

The name consumer, dear reader, is hateful to myself because it is an enemy to so many.

Had I written it I would tear the word.

With apologies to William Shakespeare, today I consider what it means to be labeled a Consumer.

Maybe you noticed how in the past few decades we have all gone from being Citizens to being Consumers. Since the 1970s the term 'consumer' has outstripped 'citizen' and its use is still on the rise.

The changeover was made official in my own country recently during the speech from the throne when the Canadian government chose the term to refer to its Citizens.

In the speech the government vowed to protect Canadian Consumers (not citizens) and said, “When Canadians make decisions about how to spend their money, they must be assured of a voice, a choice, and fair treatment." (emphasis is mine)

Wow - thanks but I really would rather be known as a Citizen and be assured a voice, a choice, and fair treatment when I try to participate in making this a better country for all. Instead I risk being put on the government's well-documented "Enemy List".

So please do not call me a Consumer. I am a Citizen.

A Citizen is someone that takes an active role in their community. Citizens enjoy the care and protection of their governments, and are granted certain rights and privileges by the state.

Consumers on the other hand, buy stuff. They take an active role in the marketplace while fulfilling their needs, wants, dreams, desires, cravings, and fantasies. Consumers do not enjoy the care and protection of anyone because in the marketplace it is "buyer beware".

The only rights and privileges consumers have is the right to credit, and the privilege to buy more than they need.

Consumers are only concerned with the price of things, while Citizens want to know about their value. Consumers compete, while Citizens cooperate.

Psychological research has shown that economic terms such as 'consumer' are associated with behaviours showing lower environmental concern and conservation behaviour, greater competitiveness and profit-seeking, and lower well-being.

In the eyes of our pro-business governments, Citizens are money takers, while Consumers are money makers. Citizens are demanding while Consumers are placated.

Today Consumers are being referred to by many other names, and none of them are very flattering.

Synonyms For Consumer

• Cashholes
• Purchasebots
• Buying Drones
• Spendoids
• Shoppertrons
• Wallet Mongers
• Money Grunts
• Shopaholics

Being called a Consumer by the very government that ignores my active role as a participating Citizen is insulting and demeaning.

In the future please refer to me as a citizen, a person, a comrade, or even a dude, but please don't call me a Consumer.

Ha, Ha, Ha Your Way To Health

Ha, ha, ha, happy.

Ha, ha, ha. Laughter and an active sense of humour can help maintain good health and could even prevent a heart attack. I figure that laughing shouldn't be too hard - the world has become so silly that most of the time it is hard NOT to laugh.

There is no reason not to laugh considering how good it feels. The funny bone is definitely connected to well being. Laughter is free health care.

Does that mean that clowns are doctors?

A University of Maryland study showed that healthy men and women who were shown a humorous movie experienced a 22% increase in blood flow, and overall improved vascular and endothelial health. The endothelium is the protective barrier lining our blood vessels, and when it is damaged it can lead to heart problems.

Proving that a heart condition is nothing to laugh at, the researchers found that people with heart disease were 40% less likely to laugh than healthy people. But if you have heart disease laughing can make all the difference.

The study found laughter has immediate effects on heart health, and that the effects lasted for 45 minutes after the movie had finished.

Laughaholics have hangovers that feel good and that foster good health. Ha.


Other Benefits of Humour and Laughter

• Natural pain killer
• Improves breathing
• Helps with weight loss
• Gives a better sleep
• Decreases stress
• Makes you look and feel younger
• Boosts relationships
• Connects you to the here and now

Taking things seriously all the time and dwelling on the negative that abounds in the world today does not produce solutions, and it destroys peace of mind. The resulting stress is a silent killer.

The Maryland study concludes that everyone should strive to laugh several times every day. 

"For a healthy heart," they recommend, "exercise, eat right, and laugh heartily a few times a day. Read funny books or watch a funny show. Try to take things less seriously."

Want free health care? Relax. Smile. See the humour that abounds in the universe and laugh along with it. It is so much better than the alternative.

Ha, ha, ha. 

Ho, ho, ho.

Hee, hee, hee. 

I can feel it working already.

"I am thankful for laughter, 

except when milk comes out of my nose."

- Woody Allen 

(House) Size Matters

Be small, live large.

"To the average man",  says a post concerning penis size published on a semi-reputable medical website, "whether he's straight or gay, his penis is, consciously or unconsciously, one of the most important things in the whole world." ONE of the most important, but is it THE most important?

For a host of illogical reasons, size has been made to matter in several areas.

The most important "size matters" thing for many men (and women) it seems, is not wee willy winky proportions, but the size of ones house.

"Ooooo, what a big... house you have."

I come to this conclusion partly because the most viewed post on NBA since we began in 2008 is "Average House Size By County". I also did "extensive" research and crunched some numbers which I will share later in this post.

My house size post also happens to be the most commented (controversial?) with 80 + comments currently, including my responses. Comments still trickle in at the rate of a few every month, which continues to surprise and please me.

The discussion the post has generated has been interesting with various views being shared in a forum that I try to make as non-threatening as possible for all readers regardless of where they stand on the size issue. I am still talking about houses here.

One thing that comes across in all the comments is that many people have given average house size a good deal of thought. Usually, though, thoughts tend toward dreamy dreams of some day inhabiting a larger sized house.

But not always. A recent comment represents my best case scenario with a large house proponent at least being willing to stop for a moment to consider what house size really means.

"I just wanted to say that your post here has inspired me to consider smaller houses. My husband and I currently live in an 1100 sq ft apartment and are looking to buy a house sometime in the next year. 

I had myself convinced that we had to buy a house bigger than our apartment because that just made sense in my mind. I thought 2000 was an acceptable minimum and even then, only if we planned to upsize to around 3000 in 5 to 10 years.  

It's still too early to say what we'll eventually buy, but this post has certainly changed my way of thinking." - Anon

We are slowly coming to the realization that, like penises, bigger houses are not necessarily better.

It should be known by now that it isn't size that is paramount, but rather it is what you do with what you've got that is most important.

Small ones can be surprisingly satisfying if used skillfully. Houses, I mean.


The Numbers 

If you think that people are obsessed with size, you are right. In most cases we tend to believe that bigger is better.

But what is the biggest size obsession of all?

When it comes to web searches, there is no contest - house size has WAY more hits than penis size. In my wacky world of research, 'more hits' equals 'more important'.

• average penis size 5,870,000 hits
• average house size 307,000,000 hits

• average penis size by country 483,000 hits 
• average house size by country 257,000,000 hits

What Will They Do When We Realize We Are All One?

Bill Hicks: "I want you - to think and laugh"

My favourite comics are the ones that make their audiences think, and challenge their habitual ways. George Carlin is one that comes to mind. Another, and one I am not as familiar with until recently, is Bill Hicks (1961-1994).

Hicks was an American stand up comedian, political philosopher, social critic, and all around anti-authoritarian. He died at age 32 of pancreatic cancer, but took full advantage of his brief life by challenging accepted ways of thinking and living, and asking his audiences to do the same.

When an audience member approached Hicks after a show and complained, "We don't come here to think," Hicks responded by saying, "Gee, where do you go to think? I'll meet you there".

Hicks thought his routine was like "bullets in the heart of consumerism, capitalism, and the American Dream". He was deeply disturbed by the dystopian reality foisted upon the public by big business and governments, and took refuge in "love, laughter, and truth".

A few Bill Hicks quotes highlight why he was a frequent victim of censorship, and was considered a dangerous subversive.

"I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is humankind's sole purpose on this planet. If you're wondering what I believe our purpose on this planet is, I'll give you a hint... it has to do with creating and sharing."

"It's all about money, not freedom. It has nothing to do with freedom. If you think you're free, try going somewhere without money."

"I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, "My God! I love everything." Yeah. Now, if that isn't a hazard to our country … how are we gonna keep building nuclear weapons, you know what I mean? What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize that we're all one?!"

"I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night."

"The less critical one is about various issues concerning the status quo, the more apt you are to become prey to advertising. The more substance and talking points you have in a show, the less attention you'll pay to the commercial break. Your mind would be too busy digesting and pondering the new information that was just received. U.S. media just can't have that."

Had Hicks lived longer he would have been at the forefront of the revolution, although he was also a big proponent of a more natural and peaceful process of voluntary evolution. He knew that if we could turn away from all the distractions and get together in a massive cooperative effort, we would be taking a great leap forward.

May love, laughter, and the truth reign in our lives.

Secrets Of The Centenarians

"Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul."
- Samuel Ullman

My grandparents never lived to see a century, but they all lived well into their 90s. I might have the centenarian gene. Of course, I could have the cancer gene, too. Either way, living well is certain to help extend my adventure in good health.

Aging is not fully understood, and neither is living it seems. But living well does boil down to a few basic things that anyone can adopt. Like eating oatmeal every day, and taking naps.

The following people, among the longest-lived we know of, attributed their long lives to a few simple things.

Secrets of The Centenarians

• Jeanne Calment, France, 122 years "World's Oldest Person to Have Lived" - Rode her bicycle until she was 100, drank red wine, ate chocolate.

• Sarah Knauss, USA, 119 years - Lived a tranquil life with little stress.

• Marie-Louise Meilleur, Canada, 117 years - Hard work.

• Maria Capovilla, Ecuador, 116 years - Never drank hard liquor or smoked.

• Christian Mortensen, 115 years, Denmark/USA - Positive attitude, refrained from alcohol, surrounded himself with friends.

• Emiliano Mercado del Toro, 115 years, Puerto Rico - Maintained a sense of humour.

• Walter Breuning, USA, 114 years - for the last 36 years of life he ate only 2 meals a day, worked till he was 99.         From: Guinness Book Of World Records

Simple Pleasures: Laughter

I enjoy laughing a lot, and I think most people do. Laughing, giggling, guffawing, and letting go is good for you. Usually.

In my high school days I was driving my family's car with a friend riding shotgun. My friend told me a joke that made me laugh so hard I sailed through a yield sign with my head thrown back.

In my state of hilarity I did not notice the truck bearing down on us from the left. It hit us in the rear of the car. After spinning completely around we landed in a shroud of dust on the manicured front lawn of a tidy house.

At the time that incident was not very funny. Especially when the family ride was written off and sent to the auto wreckers. But it makes me laugh now, especially to consider how my laughter ended up in us getting a new car.

Laughter is an expression of joy experienced in the moment. It is as essential an ingredient in life as food, but is not fattening in the least. Quite the opposite - humour and laughter are good for us.

"Your sense of humor provides a powerful antidote to immuno-suppressive effects of stress in two ways, through:

1. Direct effects of humor and laughter upon the immune system,
2. Indirect effects resulting from humor’s ability to help you cope on the tough days.

The simple truth is that happy people generally don’t get sick."

- Bernie Siegel

Indulge yourself, and have a good, hard laugh. Repeat. But please, only when it is safe to do so. 

Warning: Do not convulse with hilarity, have a fit of laughter, or ROFL while operating machinery.

Mr. MacLean's Prescription For Life

Another favourite bench

I don't know who R.B. MacLean was, but he was my kind of guy. Here, on another of my favourite benches, is a plaque with his prescription for life.

This bench brought to you by Love and Humour.

When we laugh we let our defenses down. We are who we really are, experiencing joy and the moment. I read an excellent article on idleness recently. It said, "Idleness is what happens when we allow our pace to slacken, and merge with the rhythms of the natural day.

Humour is much the same - when we laugh we take a step out of normal life and merge with the moment and natural rhythms. Being in nature provides similar results. As does sitting on benches with no agenda or deadline.

The best is having a good, long, sit down on a bench - in nature, with a friend, laughing together.

View from Mr. MacLean's beautiful bench

This post brought to you courtesy of Mr. R. MacLean, Darlene, and friends.