April 20, 2020

There Is Only This Moment... At Home

I like being at home full time. Homemade samosas, anyone?

So now everyone is spending all their time at home, and going out is difficult. It is hard to do regular things, hard to go places and hard get stuff done. 

Welcome to our world.

Ever since Linda went into a wheelchair everything has become more difficult. Since before it happened I have been committed to being her caregiver.

That has meant transitioning from full time teaching to full time working at home. It was easy for me. I like home. I like it a lot.

I started writing this blog in 2008, for example, because I knew that I would be spending my time at home and I thought I better have a few creative outlets to keep me sane.

That turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life.

Now, some say we are all in lockdown. We are homebound. Everyone is a shut in - it's not just for a disadvantaged small segment of society anymore. 

I see it in a more positive light, more of an opportunity. 

You see, I don't believe that what is "out there" is as good as advertised. For the most part it is mindless dreck manufactured to keep the masses content, lethargic, and distracted.

And working, working, working. I think being at most workplaces is going into a lockdown situation. Most people are workbound.

And when I go to a shop or palace of entertainment I feel shut in. Can't breathe.

Plus it all costs a lot. And takes a lot of time.

But what is it all for? Why do hunter/gatherer societies have more leisure time than we do? How did that happen?

Like a tiny tribe of two, Linda and I have been living locally (about a 30 km radius) since 2005, and have been more location-based since about 2012 (about a 15 km radius, but most often keeping to our 2 acre property).

It has been so enjoyable that the time has passed swiftly. I miss no part of my former "free" life with more choices, because it came with an accompanying high level of stress.

Infinite choice is not a good thing whether we are talking consumer goods or where to go, or what distractions to indulge in. Humans get stress-lock, rendering us unable to make any choice. We shut down.

It is far less stressful for me to know there is nowhere to go, nothing to do. I can simply be.

This is it. Just this place, and just this moment.

And they are beautiful.

Welcome to my world. It's not so bad with the right attitude.

If you don't know now already, I sincerely hope you take this unprecedented opportunity to open to the simplicity of this moment in time.

Do it at home now, and ignore the mayhem and chaos.

Let it all go, because it is time for you to be you, and through that, connect with others, and the world, in ways not previously known possible.

Because we were too busy.

This is the way Zen Master Wu Kwang puts it:

“When you really face the fact that there is nowhere to go and no choice, then you enter your situation completely. 

Your mind does not keep saying, Well, maybe I’ll do this, maybe I’ll do that. 

There is no choice. There is only this moment, moment by moment, by moment. 

And at that point, you can open to the simplicity of your being and of your connection with others. 

From that, clear action is possible, compassionate meeting is possible.”

There is only this moment. Let's enjoy it as much as possible right now, right where we are at.






27 comments:

  1. Anonymous4/20/2020

    What an astute observation that most people are work bound, this is absolutely true. I know where I would rather be bound, and that is at home.

    Isn't it great that there is time to make pastry for samosas when we are at home? We are both continuing to work from home, but the fact that there is no need to get tea and food into thermoses and get all dressed up and drive/walk to work means that indeed we now have time for pastry. I may even have a sneaky lie-down with a book!

    Madeleine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm going to take a lie-down without a book.

      Delete
  2. Anonymous4/20/2020

    The best advice!
    Linda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now is where everything is happening.

      Delete
  3. Anonymous4/20/2020

    Love your comment about a "sneaky lie-down with a book", Madeleine! I hope you got to do that. And it leads into something I wanted to ask this community - what are your favorite simple living-type books? I suspect many will be in electronic form at my library (a service I am most grateful for right now), or perhaps even on Gutenberg online.

    We are doing fine, weather has been nice here and my tiny garden is sprouting peas, radish, leaf lettuce, and green/spring onion. We live on a cul-de-sac and it gives us a place to go outside to throw the frisbee or hit the pickleball around. We also made our own cornhole board and bags (filled with buckwheat hulls from an old pillow) for throwing. Not sure if others in the world play cornhole...funny little game but a nice way to be outside and active. We picked up groceries yesterday and are set for 2 weeks or more. That's a good feeling.

    I think of all you wonderful people often - stay safe and well!
    -Mary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/20/2020

      Hello Mary,

      off the top of my head here a a few all-time favourite books:

      Timeless Simplicity: Creative Living in a Consumer Society by John Lane - beautifully written and more philosophical than 'how-to'. I love it and have read it many times
      Retrosuburbia: The Downshifters Guide to a Resilient Future by David Holmgren. A brilliant book that will give you hope for a better future and tell you how to do it. Huge and about AUD $80, but well worth it
      Down To Earth by Rhonda Hetzel. A timeless classic and especially good for anyone new to the how-tos and whys of simple living. She has a brilliant blog and it could take you a year to plumb the archives! Perfect for times like these.

      Take care,

      Madeleine

      Delete
    2. Excellent question. I am going to put this up in a post so it gets more exposure. I am also interested to hear responses, like Madeleine's.

      Off the top of my head I think of books like "Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" by Robert M. Pirsig, or "Your Money or Your Life" by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez, and "The World Made By Hand Novels" by James Howard Kunstler.

      I will think of more over the next while.

      Delete
    3. Hi, I would like to recommend a book called 'Living More with Less' by Doris Longacre. I think she was a Mennonite but I don't find the book at all preachy. I think it was written in the 70s so it's a bit old fashioned but I have literally loved my copy to bits (ie it's falling apart!)

      Delete
  4. Wonderful post, I love the difference between lockdown and homebound. For some of us, such as I suspect your readers, being home is not that big a deal. My life has not change that much since shelter in place orders went into effect. Unfortunately we are seeing that for a lot of people being alone or with limited companionship is difficult. With out all the distractions of "normal" life many people don't know what to do and are not comfortable with their own thoughts. What is in our own hearts and minds can be scary. This could be particularly true if you find yourself liking being home and slowing down and start to question what you always thought was right, such as the consumer society. Hopefully some positive changes will come from these events and we may have a kinder, gentler normal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For sure a lot of us in this community are quite comfortable enjoying the many gifts of a well-run home. Also for sure that getting to know one's self can be a scary process. That must be why our culture makes fun of it - "navel gazing" and all.

      And for more scary, as you point out, is realizing that all you have been told is a lie. Also, we can now see that governments are not on our side. We will have to rely on grass roots organization and mutual cooperation moving forward.

      I think changes coming from this are inevitable. It remains to be seen how kind, gentle and long lasting they are.

      Delete
  5. As life slows I wonder if I will ever come back? Now I ask myself if I want to come back?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would be willing to bet millions of people around the world are asking the same wonderful questions. Powerful stuff.

      Delete
  6. I just noticed "Social distancing since childhood" and smiled at finding a kindred spirit. I was born in northern BC and lived there "in the bush" until the age of seven when my parents split and I was transported to the city. I have yearned my entire life to return to that life of simplicity and oneness with nature and the cycles of nature. In my early 70s now so not likely to happen, but as I now work to live the life I have always wanted I find I am content with what I have. I have started working (part time job/puts food on the table) virtually and have decided that, when the emergency is over, I will continue to do so. At the beginning of this crisis I pulled out my packing-taped, frayed-paged copy of Charles Long's "How to Survive Without a Salary" one evening, brewed a pot of tea and, kitty purring on the back of the sofa behind me, read it cover to cover. Comfort reading. Thank you for being a point of sanity one can always come back home to. Mela

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love the sound of "in the bush". That sounds wonderful. What a place to grow up. With the situation Linda and I are in, and with us getting older (she is 53 today!) the bush full time is no longer an option. But there are other ways of living a beautiful life wherever one finds ones self. It sounds like you have a good thing going.

      Your book recommendation is very apt for now, isn't it? Millions all of a sudden without a salary.

      How about also, "How to Survive Without A Big Box Grocery Store", Or "How to Survive Without A Doctor", or "How to Survive Without Billionaires, Celebrities and Sports Stars"?

      Delete
    2. Oh my goodness I knew Linda had recently had a birthday as you made a special Earth Day Birthday post for her last year but I can't believe she is 53!In all the photos you post she has a such an impish, childlike look. Must be all that happy living you guys do, & the joy of escaping the system 😊 I'm 46 and at such a crossroads in my life. I work in healthcare in the UK but have become increasingly disillusioned, especially as, despite politicians rhetoric, the NHS is gradually becoming privatised so that profits, rather than health, are the order of the day. The added time at home I've had recently has been bliss, so lovely to do home and garden work ❤️🌸 hoping to find my place more as time goes on. Clare.

      Delete
    3. Clare,

      Her Impishness definitely does not look her age. Or act it. Are imps mischievous? Linda is.

      What has been happening to your NHS (and country) is shocking. But not surprising. Dark forces of privatization have been trying to take over Canada's public system virtually since it started. They have not let up for decades, and they are still at it, despite the benefits of including EVERYONE in the system regardless of ability to pay.

      Health care is a human right. I am sorry you are suffering in your system. I hear that many people (staff and patients) are. You only have to look at the US to see what the profit motive gets you when applied to health care. It is a total farce, and people die because of it every day. Many thousands every year.

      So nice that you have had a blissful break. No doubt you richly deserve it. I am confident that you will resolve your situation to your satisfaction.

      Delete
    4. Hi Gregg, thank you so much for your lovely reply as always.
      I think imps are definitely fun and mischievous! I can really see that in the photos of Linda.
      Yes, I learned on my very first ward that money & healthcare don't mix.... sadly, we're moving more & more towards that model here in the UK. I am a psychiatric nurse; probably my main strengths are my ability to listen & empathise, plus my clinical judgement. Sadly, these aspects are not valuable in a private model and I have even found myself a target of bullying at times.
      As I progress in my simple living journey, I am yearning more and more to get away from the world of paid work. I still want to be busy, occupied and contributing positively to society just in a different way. Blessings to all. Clare.

      Delete
  7. Yes, for some of us this is life as usual. The difference is I've had over a decade of declining mobility to get used to the change. It can have it's downside- The lack of face to face contact for weeks at a time can be hard. I like my own little world, but an occasional visitor can be a welcome break. It does my heart good to see everyone slowing down, cooking their own food, not shopping and allowing nature to have a much needed break. I truly hope that lots and lots of people make it a permanent change.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a good point, Marla. It will be distressing for many, and for good reasons. Scary times, even for those of us that are prepared.

      I agree that it can be nice to see another human being in person occasionally. We also wonder how you are doing since your mom passed. That is a huge change in your life.

      Linda and I have each other, and we get along just fine despite being with each other 24/7/365. I suspect I would be lonely without her, and vice versa.

      I am sure there will be permanent change resulting from our current situation. Time will tell, so it will be very interesting moving forward. I hope it happens fast!

      Delete
    2. Gregg and Linda- It's been nearly 11 months since mom died. The time without her has been so lonely at times I didn't think I could bear it. My head knows it was time for her to go, my heart feels something quite different. We too were together 24/7/365 and rarely ever disagreed on anything. I'm eternally grateful that I had that kind of a relationship with my mom.

      My path forward will have to be traveled alone and I'm coming to acceptance.

      Delete
  8. Anonymous4/21/2020

    I'm going to add my list of favorite simple living books since they have sustained me for 28 years now, supplemented in the past decade by this blog of course!
    Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin
    The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn
    Voluntary Simplicity by Duane Elgin
    The More with Less cookbook by Doris Jansen Longacre
    Thanks for all your suggestions and happy reading days everyone!
    Nancy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A very nice selection. Thank you for sharing your list. Happy reading to you.

      Delete
    2. Nancy- Great List! The only one that I've not read is The More with Less Cookbook. I'm going to check it out now.

      Delete
    3. I mentioned it above but forgot to sign my name. Doris Janzen Longacre who wrote the More With Less cookbook also wrote a book called Living More With Less which addresses different aspects of simple living more broadly, it has chapters on clothes, housing, work etc. Written before minimalism was trendy, it is such a great resource. It has lots of useful vignettes of information from different people and gives an international perspective - lots to learn about simple living from around the world. Highly recommend. Clare.

      Delete
  9. Anonymous4/23/2020

    Marla, I hope you enjoy the cookbook. It's a collection from Mennonite missionaries who adapted their eating to the cultures they were serving in,rather than vice versa. And the whole first section follows the idea that we live simply so others may simply live. I'm checking out Madeline s suggestion of Timeless simplicity by John Lane. Nancy

    ReplyDelete
  10. I always enjoy Radical Homemaking by Shannon Hayes. Not about simplicity per se but about a movement to reclaim those traditional skills which enable you to live well on less and stay home!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The home is the foundation for everything else. Everything. Rarely is this acknowledged, but that does not make it less true.

      One of my favourite simple living books is "Radical Simplicity" by Jim Merkel.

      I like the title, "Radical Homemaking", and it seems like there might be some overlap.

      We need more radical. Radical Everything!

      Delete

Comments will be printed after moderation to eliminate spam. We are proudly a no buying, no selling website.

We enjoy reading all comments, and respond when time permits.

If you put a name to your comment we can all recognize you for your contribution.

Thank you for visiting and commenting.