"So we aren't our body", I said to my mom, "and we aren't our thoughts either."
"Mmhmm", she replied.
"So what are we?" I asked. "What else is there?"
She laughed and laughed.
I thought she might say something after she stopped laughing.
She didn't.
My mom was born May 13, 1935, the oldest in a large family.
She was a woman of few words.
When young, I saw it as weakness. How wrong I was.
It was her super power, her survival skill set.
Her quiet, calm approach made it possible for her to survive caring for 5 kids and a husband. That alone is a monumental feat.
In addition, mom was breaking free of traditional expectations of a women's role in the family and society.
It was women's liberation before that became a dirty word. No, it always was a dirty word for a certain segment of society. That did not deter her.
She went to university and got a degree. She got her own job. She got her own place. And for the first time, she got her own life and the freedom that we all yearn for.
That demonstrated a depth of strength that was camouflaged by her quiet exterior.
Not wordy or boastful, she told me, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
It could have been her Catholic upbringing, which would have taught her that "too much talk leads to sin".
When our mouths are full of our own words, we have little time for the words of others, and she was a good listener. That is a quality not many people have today.
A spiritual woman and lifelong learner, she studied Zen and Eastern religion after leaving the church. She found similar teachings regarding exercising one's mouth excessively there.
In Zen, talking to much is a frowned-upon transgression. My quiet mom could have been a Zen saint.
Or maybe she was.
She didn't use words to let me know what we are if we aren't our bodies, and we aren't our minds.
She showed me what we are by her quiet example.
We are the witness, the watcher. Discovering this can only happen in still, calm quietness.
Mom taught me that there is a lot to learn while listening, and not so much while talking.
In silence one finds wisdom, and one finds strength.
Mom entered the ultimate silence on January 19, 2021.
"If today was your last day in this body,
would the mind’s chatter, plans or desires
hold any real value for you?
No.
Then why not live from this attitude now?"
- Mooji