Love Is Great, But Valentine's Day Is A Consumer Trap

Happy Anti-Valentine's Day.

Today you can enjoy not rushing out to buy flowers, or chocolates, or flimsy underwear. Don't worry about expensive dinners out, or elaborate but meaningless gifts. Leave the cards on the shelf, and the money in your wallet.

Nothing says I love you better than being decent, kind, and caring to everyone you meet 365 days a year.

Compassion can be practiced by anyone, rich or poor. It's free and universally effective.

Have a happy Anti-Valentine's Day.

We love you… every day.

Love Is Free... So Are Hugs

Hugs for all!

Linda lobbied hard today for a positive, upbeat, loving post, so here goes:

Nothing in life is free? Ya, tell the crows that.

And what about love? And hugs? Free, free, free - it costs nothing to give them away. And the more you give, the more you get. Also free.

Love and hugs (and a few quotes) for all of you out there in this big ol' crazy wonderful world!


"No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back."

- H. Jackson Brown

Oops. Was that one negative? Not to worry - the next one is very playful.

"I will not play at tug o' war
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs...."

- Shel Silverstein

And more seriously - physical touch and love are necessities for humans to flourish and reach their full potential. No amount of money or stuff can yield the benefits of love, and the touch of another human being. Or friendly mother wolf...

"Every day you should reach out and touch someone.  People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."

- Maya Angelou

Not Buying Valentines Day or Slave Chocolate

I'm all about love. The world would be a better place if we had more of it. Valentines day however, is a sick scam that launches a full frontal assault on amorous couples looking to score some points on this 'special day'.

If the goal was to spread love 365 days a year, that would be cool. But it is not. The goal is to get money out of your pocket, plain and simple. And the pressure to spend is great. In many places it has become a cultural expectation or obligation to spend on loved ones.

Everyone, including grade school children, are expected to invest in a little love, and do so unquestioningly.

And what is the main way to "show your love" besides cheesy will-you-be-mine cards? Giving a gift of chocolate made by child and slave labour is quite popular.


"Children are doing dirty, dangerous, and degrading work in the chocolate industry,” says Cheryl Hotchkiss, manager of World Vision’s End Child Slavery campaign. “They get hurt swinging machetes to cut down cacao pods. They get sick from pesticides and toil in extreme heat with little pay, poor nutrition, and no health care. They’re separated from their families and can even be abused by employers.”

Approximately 2 million children, some as young as 8 years old, are involved in cacao farming worldwide, the majority in West Africa.

95% of the chocolate consumed in the world is not certified and will soil your hands in more ways than one if you choose to buy it along with the thinly veiled marketing love fest that we know as V-day.

Here are some things you can do to ensure that your chocolate isn't tainted by child and slave labour, or toxic processes.

Getting Rid of Dirty Chocolate

1. Look for chocolate with labels such as the Fair Trade label and the IMO Fair for Life label.

2. Contact the big chocolate companies like Hershey’s - tell them you expect them to prove their chocolate is not tainted by child labor and slave labor.

3. Contact your elected officials. If big chocolate can’t monitor their own supply chains, we need to go back to the drawing board and demand laws that prevent slave-produced chocolate from hitting the shelves of stores.

The people who produce the raw materials for our chocolate treats deserve fair wages and safe working conditions. African children shouldn’t have to suffer unspeakable horrors just so we can enjoy a treat.

Buy fair trade/organic chocolate, then indulge in a bit to celebrate limitlessly loving every single day of the year.

Find ethical chocolate where you live on the ChocoFinder website.

Occupy Valentine's Day

Money not required

You may think that there is an Occupy for everything that is outrageously unfair, unsustainable, and unjust. There is. Including Occupy Valentine's Day.

Thank goodness, because if there were ever an outdated, blatantly consumeristic cultural relic that deserves to be extinguished once and for all, Valentine's Day is it.

Don't get me wrong, I am totally into love. Totally. I am just not into commercial interests co-opting it, and bullying everyone into spending cash in a gift-buying frenzy to 'prove' their love one day a year.

The National Retail Federation did a survey to see to what degree Americans would be  getting sucked in by all the (fake) love hype this year. "Love may not cost a thing", the survey starts out, "but consumers this year are set to spoil their friends, family and loved ones this Valentine’s Day in a very big way."

Well, at least they got the 'love doesn't cost a thing' bit right, but they are obviously hoping that consumers forget this basic fact of life.

The survey predicted that spending on Valentine's Day goodies would top $17.6 billion in today's guilt-reducing, economy-pumping, profit-generating spending spree. But wait. Let's show some commercial love for our non-human loved ones too.

"Valentine’s Day is a great day for pet owners to show their furry friends just how much they mean," the NRF's survey reminds us. But nothing will let your furry friend know you care more than consistently providing food, and a clean litter box or back yard.

Retailers want us to believe that buying something is the best way for people to "show their appreciation for each other". That is so tragically wrong.

The best way to show our appreciation is to be loving, kind, and patient. All the time. 365 days a year. You can't buy love. When we are loving, we freely receive the love we need.

I am Occupying Valentines Day. No flowers, chocolates, jewelry, or expensive night out. Our love is unconditional, and there is no need to buy anything.

Have a loving day, and year.

We love you.